Sunday, October 25, 2009

Satan - First Draft

In Hell, Satan gathers with his angels. He asks "WHO IS THIS DARIEN?"

Sorrow answers loudly above the roaring explosions of the furnace: "A golden-hearted, but dark, servant of Christ. There are both demons and holiness in him."

Sadism responds: "Master, if we just use that ring of death that God gave us so long ago we could destroy him forever."

Cynicism replies: "But what if we need to use it against someone else?"

Sadism heckles, Sorrow looks on disapprovingly, and Satan is furious: "SOMEONE ELSE??? WHO ELSE??? WHO ELSE WOULD BE A BETTER TARGET THEN THE PROTECTOR OF THE CHURCH HIMSELF!!! YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE!!!" Satan points his finger at Cynicism and he starts to swell. Screaming at the top of his lungs amidst the inferno, while Sadism and Sorrow lick their chops and he gazes back at them terrified; he then bursts in to a bath of blood and bodyparts. Sadism collects the blood and drinks it, while sorrow eats the flesh. The two now serve both purposes and collect from Cynicisms energy and evil magic.

Sadism says joyfully: "Now I am stronger."

Satan says: "Glad you enjoyed it." Grabs him by the ear, opens his mouth, and licks him.

Sorrow watches.

Sadism pleads with Satan: "Master, please, don't..."

Satan replies: "But you're too appetizing now, and I love the way you call me master. Call me master again."

Sorrow watches, and hopes it will not be next.

Sadism complies: "Master!! MASTER!! Please... I'll do anything!"

Satan hmmms, and licks Sadisms feet. he says: "This fire has tempered your flesh well, and the oils of your skin produce an exquisite flavor. I love the taste. I want you inside of me."

Sadism screams: "NO!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Sorrow watches.

Satan speaks to him: "You're so energetic. I love the way you struggle, the way you wiggle, what an experience in my mouth. If you only stopped struggling you might be less appetizing."

Sadism yells: "MASTER!!!!! PLEASSEEEE!!!!!!"

Satan finalizes: "I'll need you for the trip. Some nourishment and power. Things will be much more enjoyable..."

Sorrow is too scared to help, though he is fond of Sadism. In a way, Sadism is already devoured, having been undone in his evil.

Sadism interrupts: "MASSTTEERRRR!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT MY IDEAS??? HUH??? WHAT ABOUT..."

And Satan silences Sadism forever, headfirst, breaking his bones, blood, and flesh in a second, all the way to the chewed off feet and toenails. A being gone forever in to the belly of the devil. The devil grows bigger and more powerful.

Sorrow asks, crying: "Will you eat me too master?"

Satan answers: "Not yet. I'm currently full." And he dons his cape, to prepare to go out, and takes the ring of death out of the cabinet. "Stay healthy. I want a good taste." And sorrow feels his appendages, his arms, his legs, his face, wanting the carnal to stay his, and despairing.


From a trench in the desert, Satan aims his ring at Darien. The three are walking to Egypt through the Negev.

But Satan cannot move, for he remembers being an angel. In Darien he sees Bartimus, a childhood friend, a student, a musician gifted by the Spirit and a beautiful smile as bright and radiant as the sun. he also remembers the day that Bartimus drew the sword against him and cursed him to Hell. "Why God? Why did it have to be so?"

God answers back: "Because you left me forever."

Darien can no longer see his angels. He worries.

Satan cries: "I'll come back! I'll come back!"

And Brutus, seeing what is going on, draws his sword, and unfolds his wings, and flies like lightning across the desert to cease the ring. He creates a tornado like wind as he harnesses all the force of the air to propel him, and Satan hears. Satan screams: "AHHHH SHHHITTTT!!!!!" And tries in vain to run after the ring as its taken from him, and Satan, his arm halfway between where he was and the ring, gets slashed in the arm by Brutus, a deep and painful gash. "GGODDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU??? HOW FUCKIN' DARE YOU????" He screams in agony.

God asks Satan: "Could you not see any of the harm you almost did? Could you not see the just man you almost condemned and the generations of Christians you almost led on a path to sorrow? Could you not see all the great men hardly developed and great ideas never espoused? Could you not see how that Angel gave you what you deserved? Satan, you will not be destroyed today, though you will be destroyed eventually; Brutus, put away your sword."

But Brutus wimpers: "I have him right here Lord!"


And Brutus quietly bows, and resigns his blade.

Satan cries: "BUT WHY CAN'T..."

God interrupts: "ENOUGH! If you haven't learned by now, you never will."

Satan screams: "BUT I...."

God disappears from Satan's sight once again, and the darkness within him recommences. He yells: "DAMN YOU GOD!!! WHY DID YOU TAKE MY RING FROM ME? I'M GONNA STRANGLE YOU! I'M GONNA EAT YOU AND TAKE YOUR KINGDOM! I SHALL TRIUMPH! DAMNIT, COME BACK HERE! HOW DARE YOU GOD?" And God does not answer this time.

Monica looks at Satan and says, "What a waste." Then she walks on. Darien sees Monica and Brutus again.

Darien responds: "I was worried there for a minute."

The two angels speak as one: "Don't be."

Still working first drafts. Tell me what you think.


  1. The visualizations of the script remind me of watching it on a big screen as a movie.

    The characters are intense and the dialogue is very strong. Definitely an R rating!
    However, it is very interesting.
    Keep up your genius work...

  2. That was great.Have you ever though of being a scriptwriter for a Christian production?Anything Christian will have problems passing in Hollywood because they are run by a bunch of Secular Humanist.